Crime

A Father's Story

A Father's Story

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  • Create Date：2022-10-09 05:52:30
  • Update Date：2025-09-06
  • Status：finish
  • Author：Lionel Dahmer
  • ISBN：1635615631
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Summary

On July 23， 1991， Milwaukee chemist Lionel Dahmer discovered - along with the rest of the world - that his son Jeffrey was a murderer who， over a period of many years， had carried out some of the most ghastly crimes ever committed in the United States。 These crimes were so grisly that for a time Dahmer entered a world of complete denial - first convinced that Jeff was innocent， then later that he had been no more than the tool of some other， far more evil human being。 But as the evidence accumulated， it became clear that Jeffrey Dahmer had acted alone and that the "evil" that had compelled him was far more disturbing than any Lionel Dahmer might have imagined。 As the trial progressed， and the crimes of his son were graphically detailed， Lionel Dahmer began to place himself in the dock beside his son。 In the torturous weeks following Jeff's conviction， he continued descent toward that harrowing point at which the line of his own life inevitably intersected with his son's。 In doing so， he completed the darkest journey ever made by a stricken father - one that ultimately led one painful step at a time from his initial denial to a final admission of shattering intensity。 A Father's Story cannot claim to have discovered the ultimate solution to the enigma of either the criminal or his deeds。 It is， in fact， not the story of Jeffrey Dahmer at all， but of a father who， by slow， incremental degrees， came to realize the saddest truth that any parent may ever know: that following some unknowable process， his child had somewhere crossed the line that divides the human from the monstrous。 This memoir is not a refutation of charges， an attempt to change the record。 It is both a touching family memoir and a haunting confession - the searing account of a man who never relented in his effort to fathom the deepest quarters of his son's affliction， even as they pointed to his own。 It is an important document on the nature of fatherhood， the origins of madness， and the role of ki

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Reviews

Destiny DeMond ，

I watched the series and Netflix and had to have this book just because。 I believe it is a really eye opening story to other parents for warning signs and things to look out for。 I really appreciate how Lionel didn’t point fingers and claimed his own responsibility in his own way of how Jeff turned out。

HW ，

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers。 To view it， click here。 Quite soul-baring & reflective。 Definitely well-written。 This book not only illuminates Lionel Dahmer’s thoughts & feelings on his son-turned-serial killer， but how it could be related to his own upbringing， and whether he could’ve prevented or even contributed to his son’s “darkness”。 I believe he did attempt to set his son on the right path， but perhaps most of the damage had been done in childhood— the emotional neglect， the dysfunctional household dynamics， his birth mother’s mental conditio Quite soul-baring & reflective。 Definitely well-written。 This book not only illuminates Lionel Dahmer’s thoughts & feelings on his son-turned-serial killer， but how it could be related to his own upbringing， and whether he could’ve prevented or even contributed to his son’s “darkness”。 I believe he did attempt to set his son on the right path， but perhaps most of the damage had been done in childhood— the emotional neglect， the dysfunctional household dynamics， his birth mother’s mental conditions and his growing fascination with the macabre which was not looked upon as something deeply troubling。 。。。more

sara ，

wow！Such an honest book！ I can’t even begin to imagine how this man and his family feel。 It is told with compassion for the victims， and their families but also gives an honest account of a father’s unbearable journey to discover what his son had become。

Margaret Czekay ，

Read this book after seeing the Netflix series on serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer， which ended with his father writing a book about his son and the atrocious torture and murders he committed。 The Netflix series touched on whether Lionel Dahmer was， as he said， actually writing this book to examine the past and search for what turned his son into a monster， and whether he should be allowed to realize any profits from or or should the proceeds be allocated entirely to victims families。 I was intrigue Read this book after seeing the Netflix series on serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer， which ended with his father writing a book about his son and the atrocious torture and murders he committed。 The Netflix series touched on whether Lionel Dahmer was， as he said， actually writing this book to examine the past and search for what turned his son into a monster， and whether he should be allowed to realize any profits from or or should the proceeds be allocated entirely to victims families。 I was intrigued enough to check it out of my well stocked local library， but having finished it I have learned almost nothing about Jeffrey Dahmer and way more than I bargained for about Lionel。 Lionel is a very analytical man who really seems to have treated his role as husband to Joyce and father to Jeffrey and David as if he were acting out a role in a stage play。 In Lionel's mind， a husband and father provides for his family and having done that， all the pieces of his life should fall into place， the career success， the devoted wife， the well behaved attractive children who grow up to be successful in all their endeavors。 Lionel admits repeatedly that he was not a warm or emotionally giving man and that perhaps this was the main source of Joyce's great unhappiness in their marriage， as she was the opposite。 He writes of her descent into depression and heavy use of medications with a cold， almost clinically objective eye， as though she were a rat in his lab and not his wife and the mother of their sons。 When the marriage had irretrievably broken down， a clearly lonely Joyce left him and took young David， and Lionel quickly settled into his next role as husband to second wife Shari， who seems not to have found his emotional distance to have been such an issue。 Together they attempted to raise Jeffrey， although Lionel seems to have obsessed over Jeffrey's lack of normal boy behavior， including a very creepy preoccupation with the fact that Jeffrey had no hidden playboy magazines in his room and didn't seem interested in women。 Clearly Lionel had no understanding what to do with this child or how to connect with him on any level although he seems to have tried in his own way。 When Jeffrey appeared interested in science， Lionel could have bought him a chemistry set or a radio set， but chose instead to teach him to dissect roadkill。 The closest quality father son time Jeffrey had， the most undivided paternal attention he received， was when combing through still warm and bloody animal carcasses。 That's just bizarre。 I understand that David Dahmer， the younger boy， is living under an alias somewhere and I am grateful that he at least was protected from his brother and his aloof dad and that he got to grow up with his warm other parent and not Lionel， whose recollections about their family life kind of freak me out in their blindness to the things that were going on in that house and how creepy it was。I do think in retrospect that his motivation was honest and he was truly only looking for answers in writing this book。 。。。more

Carol Mendoza ，

For me it was very important to read this book， because I wanted to understand more than what was seen on the screen， you are the best writer Lionel Dahmer

Michelle Stokkers ，

If you are looking for true crime， this isn't it。 Surprisingly self reflective and honest。 I would recommend。 If you are looking for true crime， this isn't it。 Surprisingly self reflective and honest。 I would recommend。 。。。more

Ellroy ，

I finished the Netflix series Dahmer so was curious to read his father's book。 I didn't realise the extent of the crimes Dahmer committed until seeing the series， and what a crazy story。 I was very curious to see his Father's point of of view。Unsurprisingly， Lionel came across as very cold to me。 Very analytical and much less emotional。 I found it hard to empathise and thus the book was not as interesting as I had hoped。 Not really revelatory。 It was interesting to see that the series did indeed I finished the Netflix series Dahmer so was curious to read his father's book。 I didn't realise the extent of the crimes Dahmer committed until seeing the series， and what a crazy story。 I was very curious to see his Father's point of of view。Unsurprisingly， Lionel came across as very cold to me。 Very analytical and much less emotional。 I found it hard to empathise and thus the book was not as interesting as I had hoped。 Not really revelatory。 It was interesting to see that the series did indeed takes scenes from this account though。。。 。。。more

Christine Lynd ，

Heartbreaking and insightful。

Chris ，

You learn nothing new regarding the case by reading this book。 A meager attempt to blame his ex-wife， garner sympathy for his son， and distance himself from anything wrong with him。 Merely a cash-grab。

rosemary ，

Amazing Such a moving read from a father。 Absolutely amazing read， and such an amazing figure。 Very informative on the life of dahmer！

Tony Toni ，

I couldn't put this book down and， even though it made me cry， I think it is one of the most important non-fiction books I have ever read。 It's because I've never had children and will never know what it feels like to be a father。The circumstances that inspired Dahmer to write this book are gruesome。 However， I am convinced this book is of universal importance because it shows us what it's like when we disappoint our parents。 It takes us into the inner world of our parents and just how much we a I couldn't put this book down and， even though it made me cry， I think it is one of the most important non-fiction books I have ever read。 It's because I've never had children and will never know what it feels like to be a father。The circumstances that inspired Dahmer to write this book are gruesome。 However， I am convinced this book is of universal importance because it shows us what it's like when we disappoint our parents。 It takes us into the inner world of our parents and just how much we are， indeed， their pride and joy， and also a constant source of worry， concern， and anxiety。 I have learned more from this book about myself and my father than any self-help book written by a reputable psychologist could ever write。 I now know how my father felt when he saw his son screw up and I understand his eagerness to redirect me and put me on the "right path。" All of we sons mess up， make mistakes， make bad decisions。 Our fathers， when they are good fathers， offer us guidance， try to help us， try to make us "see the light。" Most of us make poor decisions that are much less serious than those that Jeffrey Dahmer made， of course。Lionel Dahmer is a chemist， but he is also a very good writer and very capable of explaining concepts clearly。 He really came through to me。 Aside from learning about father-son relationships and myself， I have learned a lot about Jeffrey Dahmer that I wanted to know。 I have a better idea about how this criminal became who he was。 I wanted to understand a lot of things about Jeffrey Dahmer and his father has made those things far more understandable for me。I'll leave you a quote from this book that I think really shows how Lionel Dahmer is very honest with himself， about his son， and with his readers: "it was hard to believe that this same son would never be more than he seemed to be - a liar， an alcoholic， a thief， an exhibitionist， a molester of children。 I could not imagine how he had become such a ruined soul。。。 In the eyes of parents， I think， children always seem just a blink away from redemption。 No matter to what depth we watch them sink， we believe they need only grasp the lifeline， and we can still pull them safely to shore。 For many years， I had been just that naive。。。"Fortunately for most of us sons and fathers， the lifeline can be cast and grasped upon。 。。。more

Boakye Alpha ，

The story of the “Milwaukee Monster” has suddenly resurfaced due to a Netflix limited series created by Ryan Murphy and Ian Brennan following the life of Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer， an American serial killer and sex offender who committed the murder and dismemberment of seventeen men and boys between 1978 and 1991。 Evan Peters stars as Dahmer in this series。 Even though it was horrific to watch， the show piqued my （long） interest in true crimes and my desire to gain knowledge about the psychology of The story of the “Milwaukee Monster” has suddenly resurfaced due to a Netflix limited series created by Ryan Murphy and Ian Brennan following the life of Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer， an American serial killer and sex offender who committed the murder and dismemberment of seventeen men and boys between 1978 and 1991。 Evan Peters stars as Dahmer in this series。 Even though it was horrific to watch， the show piqued my （long） interest in true crimes and my desire to gain knowledge about the psychology of serial killers。So， I went on a hunt （sort of） reading all I can about the issue and watching YouTube videos， short documentaries and footage from the court hearing in 1992。 Then， I found out that Lionel， Jeffrey's dad， had written a book called A Father's Story after watching an interview he had with Oprah。I sought to find the book and for hours （after I got an ebook copy）， I couldn’t stop reading。 I read it throughout that night。 Though the Netflix series does a decent job of humanizing the monstrosity that was Jeff's serial killing， the book adds a depth that is missing from most other accounts—it is the story of a “father who， by slow， incremental degrees， came to realize the saddest truth that any parent may ever know: that following some unknowable process， his child had somewhere crossed the line that divides the human from the monstrous。”“A Father’s Story” gives us perspective into how families of perpetrators of such serious crimes feel and the trauma they go through， knowing that their blood could do something as grotesque as that， whereas most narratives focused on the families of the victims。Reading the book， I realized that it was heartbreaking being in the position Lionel was in—wondering what could have gone wrong while you parented a “monster”， asking yourself what signs you missed that you shouldn't have， wondering if you had done anything differently， maybe your son wouldn't end up being a psychopath who lured men into his apartment， drugged them， killed them， and then dismembered， dissolved their parts in acid and ate other parts。The book doesn't seek to justify his Son's actions; it's merely born out of a genuine desire to ask questions and， hopefully， receive answers。 Lionel spends the majority of the book searching for a narrative he can believe in， one he can embrace， and one that will give his son some sense of humanity as he couldn't recognize the man he saw on the news or at the prison when he visited。It was easy to feel remorseful for everything that may have been with Jeffrey after looking at the many images of him as a newborn and young boy that were included in the book。 And that's one element of the book。 It gets you to sympathise。 Not with Jeffery Dahmer nor the crimes he committed but with his lost potential。 With the young “Jeff" who got lost along the way and got replaced by an unrecognizable monster。 With the sweet innocent adolescent “Jeff” who started discovering things about himself that he didn’t understand nor could he speak out loud and so had to battle it out by himself until the darkness overpowered him。The fact that Lionel does not attempt to justify or rationalize his son's behaviour sets this book apart and makes it likely worthwhile to read。 He's just looking for some serious， forthright answers。 In any case， he never succeeded。 Since no one explanation can satisfactorily address the crucial question of "what went wrong？" 。。。more

Staceywh_17 ，

I've always been fascinated by serial killer's， psychology and what wires their brains to carry out such heinous crimes。 The recent Netflix series Dahmer allowed us insights into Dahmer's family life and his relationship with his father Lionel。We've all read books on serial killer's and their crimes， but it's very rare that you get to hear their story told from a different angle。 This is Lionel's no holds barred account， where he tells us his story， his teenage obsession with fire and his own th I've always been fascinated by serial killer's， psychology and what wires their brains to carry out such heinous crimes。 The recent Netflix series Dahmer allowed us insights into Dahmer's family life and his relationship with his father Lionel。We've all read books on serial killer's and their crimes， but it's very rare that you get to hear their story told from a different angle。 This is Lionel's no holds barred account， where he tells us his story， his teenage obsession with fire and his own thoughts on his son's serial killing sprees。 How can you even begin to image the pain and anguish a parent has to go through in a situation like this？ Lionel's anguish is clearly evident as he questions the way he brought up his children。 Was it something they as parents had caused with a faulty gene， was it the way they raised their child， the list is endless。 A Father's Story is absolutely heartbreaking， candid and definitely worth the read。 Rating ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 。。。more

Kristine ，

I dont feel right rating this。 It's a heartbreaking story。 It's clear how much this father loved/loves his son。 I dont feel right rating this。 It's a heartbreaking story。 It's clear how much this father loved/loves his son。 。。。more

Corinne ，

Interesting style of writing- a lot of conjunctive adverbs。。 wasn’t a fan of。

Maryann Moffit ，

Worthy read。A seemingly honest account land a different perspective on so many aspects。 Sad and depressing。 So sad for Shari， who was unlucky to marry a man named Dahmer。

Alese ，

Must read for true crime fansWooooow。 This was a really good deep dive into who Jeffery Dahmer was as a person and not just the murderer。

Angela Jolee Floria ，

A Family's Distressing SagaAfter watching the newest Nexflix series on Jeffrey Dahmer， I wanted to research his life and those of his victims in more depth。 I watched a multitude of YouTube videos on the subject as well as reading the public's opinions and comments。 This then led me to reading， A Father's Story by Lionel Dahmer。His book shed further light on this family's complex dynamics and interpersonal dysfunction。 I feel this book was definitely a worthwhile read。 I also liked the fact that A Family's Distressing SagaAfter watching the newest Nexflix series on Jeffrey Dahmer， I wanted to research his life and those of his victims in more depth。 I watched a multitude of YouTube videos on the subject as well as reading the public's opinions and comments。 This then led me to reading， A Father's Story by Lionel Dahmer。His book shed further light on this family's complex dynamics and interpersonal dysfunction。 I feel this book was definitely a worthwhile read。 I also liked the fact that it was told from his father's perspective。 I would have rated the story 5 stars but went with 4 instead because I needed to hear more than what was contained in it。 There needed to be more pieces to the puzzle but Lionel didn't make another volume because of the negative backlash。 。。。more

Jess Woods ，

This book definitely made me quite sad， I can’t help but feel sorry for Lionel。 It’s important I think to consider the families of criminals as victims as well （assuming they haven’t been involved in something such as abuse）。 It’s eye opening and really shows that people aren’t born evil。 It’s nature AND nurture！

Brianna E ，

Insightful and tragic on all fronts。 Deeply saddening。

Jackie Salamone-Bailey ，

Like father， like sonThe main takeaway from this excellent book by a serial killer's father is his realization that he and his murderous son shared many similarities。。。"there but for the grace of God， go I。" Mr Dahmer wrestles with the guilt that he was an emotionally-absent father while acknowledging that he and Jeffrey were near mirror images of each other: both intelligent， obsessive， and emotionally distant。 Like father， like sonThe main takeaway from this excellent book by a serial killer's father is his realization that he and his murderous son shared many similarities。。。"there but for the grace of God， go I。" Mr Dahmer wrestles with the guilt that he was an emotionally-absent father while acknowledging that he and Jeffrey were near mirror images of each other: both intelligent， obsessive， and emotionally distant。 。。。more

Γιώτα Παπαδημακοπούλου ，

Γενικά， έχω μια διεστραμμένη αγάπη για τις αληθινές ιστορίες εγκληματιών που έγραψαν τη δικιά τους ιστορία。 Όχι γιατί θεωρώ πως έκαναν κάποιο κατόρθωμα， το αντίθετο， αλλά γιατί έχει ενδιαφέρον από ψυχολογικής προσέγγισης το να προσπαθήσεις να μελετήσεις， ν' αναλύσεις και τελικά να κατανοήσεις τον λόγο ή τους λόγους που τους οδήγησαν σε αυτά τα φρικτά εγκλήματα。 Η περίπτωση του Dahmer， αν μη τι άλλο， είναι μια απ' τις 4 πιο σοκαριστικές περιπτώσεις serial killer στον πλανήτη， για την οποία έχω δι Γενικά， έχω μια διεστραμμένη αγάπη για τις αληθινές ιστορίες εγκληματιών που έγραψαν τη δικιά τους ιστορία。 Όχι γιατί θεωρώ πως έκαναν κάποιο κατόρθωμα， το αντίθετο， αλλά γιατί έχει ενδιαφέρον από ψυχολογικής προσέγγισης το να προσπαθήσεις να μελετήσεις， ν' αναλύσεις και τελικά να κατανοήσεις τον λόγο ή τους λόγους που τους οδήγησαν σε αυτά τα φρικτά εγκλήματα。 Η περίπτωση του Dahmer， αν μη τι άλλο， είναι μια απ' τις 4 πιο σοκαριστικές περιπτώσεις serial killer στον πλανήτη， για την οποία έχω διαβάσει πολλά， αλλά έγιναν πιο έντονα μέσα στο κεφάλι μου απ' όταν είδα την μεταφορά της ιστορίας του στο Netflix。 Εκεί ήταν που έμαθα και κάτι που δεν ήξερα， το ότι ο πατέρας του， Lionel， έχει γράψει ένα βιβλίο σχετικά με όλα όσα έγιναν， οπότε δεν μπορούσα να μην το αναζητήσω。Μέσα απ' το βιβλίο αυτό， ο Lionel καλείται ν' απαντήσει το πιο δύσκολο ερώτημα με το οποίο θα μπορούσε να έρθει ποτέ αντιμέτωπος ένας γονιός: Τι συνέβη και το παιδί σου μεταμορφώθηκε σε ένα τέρας， που σκότωνε κι έτρωγε ανθρώπους; Πότε ήταν που τα πράγματα άρχισαν να στραβώνουν τόσο πολύ και πού ήμουν εγώ και δεν το πήρα είδηση; Πώς μπόρεσα να μην αντιληφθώ πως κάτι δεν πήγαινε καλά; Κι άραγε， αν το είχα καταλάβει， ή αν το είχα αποδεχθεί， θα μπορούσα να έχω κάνει κάτι ώστε να τ' αποτρέψω όλα αυτά， να σώσω το παιδί μου και μαζί με αυτό και τα θύματά του;Συνήθως， σε τέτοιες αφηγήσεις， γιατί κατά καιρούς έχουμε δει να κυκλοφορούν διάφορα βιβλία αυτού τους είδους， ο γονιός επικεντρώνεται σε εκείνον και όχι στο παιδί。 Αναλώνεται στο "δράμα" που εκείνος έχει ζήσει， προσπαθώντας， έμεσα ή άμεσα， ν' αποποιηθεί την οποιαδήποτε ευθύνη。 Όμως η περίπτωση του Lionel δεν είναι απ' αυτές。 Η πρώην γυναίκα του， η Joyce， τον κατηγόρησε πως μέσα απ' το βιβλίο του προσπάθησε να ρίξει σ' εκείνη τις ευθύνες， όμως για μένα δεν είναι έτσι。 Της ρίχνει το μερίδιο των ευθυνών που της αναλογούν， αποτυπώνοντας την πραγματικότητα ενός γάμου και μιας καθημερινότητας που κατέρρεε μέρα με τη μέρα και που μαζί μ' αυτήν κατέρρεε και το παιδί τους。 Σίγουρα， όχι ευχάριστο για τη μητέρα， που όσο ήταν έγκυος έπαιρνε τα ψυχοφάρμακα με τις οκάδες και δεν θα ήθελε να κατηγορηθεί γι' αυτό， αλλά άλλο τόσο μη ευχάριστο και για τον πατέρα， που ανεχόταν αυτές τις καταστάσεις και που αντί να κάνει focus στο σπίτι του， έκανε οπουδήποτε αλλού μπορούσε προκειμένου ν' αποσπάσει το μυαλό του απ' όλα όσα τον βάραιναν。Η Joyce δεν υπήρξε ποτέ μητέρα για τον Jeff， και ούτε και προσπάθησε， ας είμαστε ειλικρινής， ενώ ο Lionel， παρά τα λάθη του， στην πορεία της ζωής του， προσπάθησε ν' αλλάξει， συνειδητοποιώντας μέρα με τη μέρα τι σημαίνει να είσαι γονιός και τι ευθύνες έχεις απέναντι στο παιδί σου。 Και πάνω απ' όλα， ο Lionel αγαπούσε τον Jeff κι έπεσε στην "παγίδα" που θα μπορούσε να πέσει κάθε γονιός。 Προσπαθούσε να συγχωρεί τον Jeff για όποιο λάθος έκανε， αλλά την ίδια στιγμή δεν μπορούσε ν' αποδεχθεί τα κομμάτια εκείνα του εαυτού του που η ίδια η κοινωνία θα περιθοριοποιούσε αν έβγαιναν προς τα έξω -και δεν αναφέρομαι στους φόνους。 Σε κάθε περίπτωση， και χωρίς να θέλω να μακρηγορήσω περισσότερο， το βιβλίο είναι ιδιαίτερα ενδιαφέρον （3，5 αστεράκια στην πραγματικότητα， αλλά θα του χαρίσω το μισό）， αρκετά ειλικρινές και πάνω απ' όλα， αποτελεί μια αρκετά βαθιά ενδοσκόπηση στον ψυχισμό των εμπλεκόμενων σε αυτή την ιστορία， σε μια προσπάθεια αναζήτησης， όχι της εξιλέωσής τους， αλλά της αλήθειας τους και της ευθύνης που τους αναλογεί。 。。。more

Kelli ，

I honestly don’t know what I would do in his shoes。 It was tragically described。 People say he knew。 But do you deep down inside think your child can do that ？ What would you have done ？ Being from Ohio and having family in Milwaukee is definitely eye opening。 Also being part of the LGBtQ family makes it different。 I do agree with his assessment of choice of victims。 Overall I thought it was sad and eye opening！

Blaire Guidry ，

Nothing we didn’t already know/what we could infer。 Explores a lot of Lionel’s thought processes and the majority of the book was him trying to find any connection to explain the heinous nature of Jeff’s crimes。 There can be no explanation。

Becky ，

Moving！

Mathilda ，

I opened this book and read the dedication: It was to Steven Hicks， Steven Tuomi， James Doxtator， Richard Guerrero， Anthony Sears， Raymond Smith， Edward Smith， Ernest Miller， David Thomas， Curtis Straughter， Errol Lindsey， Tony Hughes， Konerak Sinthasomphone， Matt Turner， Jeremiah Weinberger， Oliver Lacy， and Joseph Bradehoft。 I sobbed。 Through their names they live， but I can’t help thinking about their suffering when I think about their lives。 A Father’s Story by Lionel Dahmer， the father of a I opened this book and read the dedication: It was to Steven Hicks， Steven Tuomi， James Doxtator， Richard Guerrero， Anthony Sears， Raymond Smith， Edward Smith， Ernest Miller， David Thomas， Curtis Straughter， Errol Lindsey， Tony Hughes， Konerak Sinthasomphone， Matt Turner， Jeremiah Weinberger， Oliver Lacy， and Joseph Bradehoft。 I sobbed。 Through their names they live， but I can’t help thinking about their suffering when I think about their lives。 A Father’s Story by Lionel Dahmer， the father of a murderer， does not detail any particular gruesome story or fact， but it didn’t matter。 I had to take breaks from reading。 All I can think is… how small the human brain has to be， to find this， all this， so inconceivable。 I am certain that to this day Lionel Dahmer has still not grasped the actions carried out by his son （and not just because he， Lionel， seems to be a psychopath）， and reading this book， I don’t understand how he is expected to ever do so。 It’s inconceivable。 Not just the crimes—not just the horror and the evil and the suffering and the pain his son put families through， but also the periods of remission in between。 In those silences， those respites from cruelty， to think that even in them， he was a murderer。 This strange unbridgeable thing between one moment and another。 To think that a person could be a horrible one， and still sit on a couch， talking。 To think of hands that wrapped around someone’s throat， but also did something as natural as open a door or close it a day later。 And from the father’s perspective at that。 （“I have looked at this picture many times， and […] there is not a hint that he was becoming so afraid of other people， so intimidated by their presence， that in order for him to have contact with them， they needed to be dead。”） How does one reconcile memory and reality？ The monstrous thing between childhood and adulthood？ （“It is impossible to imagine how the end of my son's life could have sprung from the beginning of it。”） This is what this book is about。 Guilt-ridden， sincere ruminations from a man like that man in that Van Gogh painting。 The man in the chair。 Everything wrong， and nowhere to go。 His hands over his eyes。And although it is an easy and fast read， once I finished it it sat at the bottom of my stomach， heavy， turning it。Was it the childhood full of arguments coming from the next room？ Was it the pills the mother took while pregnant？ Was it genetics？ Was it the loneliness， that distant father？ The mother who refused to nurse her baby？In this book， Lionel Dahmer expresses concern over the fact that it might’ve been his genes。 I naturally assumed this was the normal line of thought that any person would have upon discovering his son—his flesh and blood， half of his DNA—was a murderer。 But Lionel also wrote: “In adolescence， I started making bombs。” He wasn’t concerned just because he was related to the murderer。 He goes into detail about the pyromaniac urges and other concerning habits he had had as a child。 But it wasn’t then that I thought his concerns were well grounded。 It was only around the end of the book， after I realized that in no part of A Father’s Story， in no chapter or paragraph， and not after he learned that his son was going to jail for molesting a child， nor after he learned that his son had murdered 17 people， does Lionel Dahmer ever express any sort of contempt toward him。 He doesn’t seem to be just an analytical father， emotionless and distant with his son the way most fathers are… He seems to very much struggle with a pathological inability to feel much。 Of course I am no one to comment on the emotional state of a person I don’t know （at the end I am only making judgements based on what he wrote and he might’ve not written his heart out）， but it jumped out at me just how startlingly few emotions were expressed in comparison with the calculations and thoughts written…A part of me at first resisted the idea that it was heredity: I had always had this notion that desires to kill or inflict pain were phenomenons that existed in some people in a vacuum。 They brewed inside from nowhere—out of nothing—and died when the person who had them died。 （I also resisted the idea because I wondered if this indifference， or rather lack of contempt， was essentially the definition of parenthood。 You cannot hate your own son， even if， even if， even if。。。）So to think it was inheritance… That simple cause。 To think that limited ranges of emotional expression can be passed down from ancestors， until someone births something like this。 I don’t know。 His brain wasn’t studied so we’ll never know。 Whatever the “reason” is， it doesn’t absolve him of an ounce of guilt。 。。。more

Inma ，

La historia de Jeffrey a través de los ojos de su padre， quien se nota quedó con demasiada mortificación a partir de los crimenes de su hijo。 Hace reflexiones sobre el comportamiento de Jeffrey desde su infancia， y es extraño， pero hay muchos huecos que， en conjunto con lo que Lionel expresa， da una imagen súper triste de negligencia de su parte， cosa que él mismo reconoce a lo largo de todo el libro， con cosas como que no estaba bien al pendiente de él o que nunca supo cómo conectar realmente。B La historia de Jeffrey a través de los ojos de su padre， quien se nota quedó con demasiada mortificación a partir de los crimenes de su hijo。 Hace reflexiones sobre el comportamiento de Jeffrey desde su infancia， y es extraño， pero hay muchos huecos que， en conjunto con lo que Lionel expresa， da una imagen súper triste de negligencia de su parte， cosa que él mismo reconoce a lo largo de todo el libro， con cosas como que no estaba bien al pendiente de él o que nunca supo cómo conectar realmente。Busca sí o sí una respuesta a porqué Jeffrey se "hizo" o "fue" así， llegando hasta a inculparse a él mismo por cuestiones genéticas， pero creo que ahí sólo se deja entrever que Lionel tuvo una infancia perturbada por diversos factores que resultaron en él necesitando terapia urgentemente， cosa que nunca recibió lol。Si bien es la historia de lo que ocurrió con Jeffrey desde la perspectiva de Lionel， creo también que es una propia reflexión de Lionel sobre sí mismo y sus áreas de problema， porque todo lo que falló， tanto en su hijo como en él， se resume a lo mismo: sus problemas de conectar， baja autoestima， no saber afrontar problemas y huir de ellos， etcetc。， lo cual sinceramente son tipologías en la psicología actual respecto a ciertas fases del desarrollo。Tons eso， es un libro más reflexivo que nada， donde se nota mucho la culpabilidad y el dolor que marcaron a Lionel tras descubrir que fue el padre de uno de los peores asesinos seriales de la historia。 。。。more

Cindy Smith ，

Have a nice insight as to what the family was going through。

Deity World ，

Currently in the middle of watching the ten part drama on Netflix and didn’t realise his father had written a book。 I recognised some of the parts from the book in the dramatisation and was shocked to read about Jeffrey’s fathers life as well as his son’s。

Brittany Goddard ，

eye opening This is a fathers viewpoint from birth， teen， adulthood on what he perceived happened 。 A heart brown father trying to figure out the why。 A glimpse into his life ， another perspective on what may or may not have happened。 Good read ！

Reference

google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=A Father's Story

hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=A Father's Story&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft

The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,A Father's Story&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0